No, Trump doesn’t know more about the Bible than the Pope

Donald Trump has a better understanding of what the Bible teaches than Pope Leo does – at least, that’s what megachurch pastor and televangelist Robert Jeffress told Fox News recently. And why would anyone doubt him on matters relating to the Pope? 

While saying he believed the Pope is “a good man”, Jeffress didn’t repeat the claims he made in a 2011 sermon that Catholicism is a “false religion” and a product of “the genius of Satan”. Which was, I think we can all agree, pretty polite.

The leader of First Baptist Church, Dallas - the oldest megachurch in the US - was commenting on the growing tensions between the Trump administration and the Vatican. More specifically, Pope Leo’s calls for peace rather than full-throated support for the war that the Trump administration started with Iran in February.

Some of the egregious - and frankly heretical - things the pope has said includes encouraging people to “search always for peace and reject war” (which doesn’t sound very Christian) and encouraging leaders to “look for solutions in a peaceful way.” The filthy communist.

Pope Leo also encouraged people to “remember, especially, the innocent: children, the elderly, the sick, so many people who have already become, or will become, victims of this continued warfare,” before suggesting, controversially, that “people want peace.”

Who can blame the MAGA pastor for objecting to that?

Jeffress, of course, is a big fan of Trump, but he’s also a minister of the gospel; a regular commentator on political matters, yes, but at heart just someone who wants to see Jesus’ will be done.

You can tell this from Jeffress’ previous comments that he would prefer “the meanest, toughest SOB” to be president of the USA, rather than “some meek and mild leader or somebody who’s going to turn the other cheek”.

So, we should all take his views on the papacy and global politics seriously.

Robert Jeffress is a very busy man and obviously doesn’t have time to correct all Catholic teachings one by one. Hopefully this streamlined reworking of the foundational Christian commandments will help.

The five commandments

1. Thou shalt only make graven images if you pinkie swear it’s not an idol

In May, a 22ft (12.6 cubits) golden statue of Donald Trump was unveiled at Trump’s property in Mar-a-Lago, Florida and “blessed” by an assortment of pastors who denied that the image was a golden calf. Always a good sign when one has to do that. Questions surrounding Daniel 3 were not addressed. 

2. Thou shalt only depict yourself as Jesus if you delete the post

In April, Trump posted a tacky AI image of himself dressed in the robes traditionally used to depict Jesus, with golden rays emanating from him and either angels or Power Rangers watching from heaven. Pretty standard stuff any of us might do, but some Christians got angry about it, so he took down the image of him holding a ball of healing light in his hands. Like any theologian would.

3. Thou shalt not kill, unless you decide to kill, then it’s cool

Pete Hegseth (who we can’t call The Revd Dr Pete Hegseth because of woke) told the Senate Appropriations Committee that Donald Trump doesn’t need congressional approval to order strikes on another country, regardless of the claims of ‘laws’ and ‘the constitution’. Trump has the right to restart a war or kill people if he decides those people should die. It’s called “it’s just a war, bro theory”. Look it up.

4. Thou shalt not focus on the adultery stuff – if he’s right-wing

To be fair to Trump, this commandment applies to any movie star, politician or singer who says “Lord, Lord” and buys a Bible after being accused of any sexual crime. Their slate is wiped clean by grace – as long as they are anti-woke. If they are powerful enough, they can even pay hush money to a porn star they slept with. Remember: these are commandments, not rules. As Jeffress told NPR in 2016, the important thing is not that a politician is a womaniser, it’s that he’s a conservative.

5. Thou shalt not ask forgiveness

Sure, some Christians say that asking God’s forgiveness is a fairly important part of following Christ, but must we be unreasonable about it? In 2015, Donald Trump answered the question “have you ever asked God for forgiveness?” by saying: “I’m not sure I have.” His vehemently Christian followers don’t seem to mind, though, and who can blame them? In 2016, Trump told CNN: “I like to be good. I don’t like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don’t do a lot of things that are bad,” so, you know, case closed.