With so many stories of powerful people abusing those around them, it is easy to become discouraged, says Patrick Regan. But as Christians, we should take the opportunity to examine ourselves, and ask how we can use whatever power and influence we have to heal, not hurt
Not a day seems to pass without another revelation about the abuse of power in some part of our society. From Jeffrey Epstein to Jonathan Fletcher, like many, I’ve found it agony to watch each story unfold, imagining the pain of the victims. I’m stunned by people’s ability to use and abuse fellow human beings in such horrendous ways.
The stories are so frequent that it’s started to feel like power and abuse go hand-in-hand. ‘Power’ has almost become a dirty word, something that we should shy away from so as not to be contaminated.
And, in my experience, it’s not the sort of thing discussed often in church circles or during Sunday sermons; even though abuse of power is - sadly - as rife within the Church as outside it.
A plank in our eye
I believe in holding people to account for their actions, whoever they are. But I’ve found myself feeling helpless as I see story after story unfold, knowing I’m in no position to do anything to bring justice or healing. I find myself getting increasingly angry at those who have caused such pain and devastation, as well as those who seemingly stood by and did nothing to help.
Yet my Christian faith tells me I can’t simply point the finger at others without examining myself, too. I might think they have a plank in their eye, but have I checked my own? I have to look at what power I have – however small it may seem in comparison – and ask myself how I’m using it.
We all have a shadow side. Being aware of what ours is will help us be conscious of the ways we interact with others
I’ve often fallen into the trap of thinking I don’t have much power. I’m not the leader of a megachurch, a multi-national business or a political party. But we all hold power to some degree, and therefore we all need to consider how we exercise it.
It might be power in our place of work or worship, in our community or in our relationships with a partner, children or friends. Not recognising our places of influence may sound like humility, but it can cause more harm than good.
Honest is hard
Over the years, I’ve done a lot of public speaking. The temptation is to talk only about my success stories; it’s humbling to acknowledge the fears that still haunt me about whether I’m good enough. But if I have any power or influence, I don’t want to use it to say: “Look at me! I can tell you how to change your life!” in the hope of getting a name for myself.
Instead, I want to say: “We’re all in this together. Let’s learn from each other, so we feel less alone.” We all have fears and weakness. We all go through difficult times. As people of faith, there can be a pressure to appear perfect, but I don’t think that model of leadership is working out very well.
Not recognising our places of influence may sound like humility, but it can cause more harm than good
I also don’t see it reflected in the Bible. Scripture doesn’t shy away from putting the failings of some of its leaders on full display. Jesus alone was presented as without fault; human leaders were often shown to be lacking in faith or vision, quick to use their power for personal gain, hypocritical; and full of pride, ego and ambition, to name just a few of their faults.
The shadow self
We all have a shadow side. Being aware of what ours is will help us be conscious of the ways we interact with others - especially when we’re stressed and overwhelmed (which is often when our worst behaviours come out).
For example, we can ask: Do we try and exert control over other people in order to feel more in control ourselves? When we feel vulnerable, do we put up a front and pretend that we’ve got it all together? When we feel insecure, do we crave attention or someone or something to boost our ego? Do we avoid accountability, not wanting to look too closely at how we’re behaving and the impact it’s having on others? Do we ever use fear or shame to make people do what we want them to?
It’s right for us to condemn the atrocities we’re hearing about in the news, but most of us can’t influence those. What we can do is take responsibility for the power we have and use it to lift people up rather than control them, to help people feel safe rather than fearful, to bring people together rather than leave them isolated and ashamed.
That’s the kind of power I want to use. That’s the kind of power that heals instead of hurts.
Small steps for big change by Patrick Regan (Rider) is out now
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