Can a cancer diagnosis ever be considered a vocation? Anglican priest Rev Lisa Barnett thinks so. Her deeply personal and moving account of faith, suffering and calling is a must-read, says our reviewer
1 in 2 people will experience cancer at some point in their life and almost all of us will know someone who has had it. But I wonder if any of us might take the unusual step of considering it a vocation? Rev Lisa Barnett does just this in her book Called Through Cancer.
As an Anglican parish priest and someone who works with those sensing a call to ordination, Barnett is no stranger to the theme of vocation, and the book opens with an account of her own sense of calling from an early age. Inviting the reader into her vocational journey she highlights the different ways a sense of calling has impacted her life – being a child of God, baptism and confirmation, ordained life and then as a wife and mother. She describes diverse areas of vocation, some of which will undoubtedly strike a chord with readers wherever they are in their life of faith. Her writing is engaging, drawing the reader to think about where or how God is currently calling them.
Whether you have your own experience of illness or not, the book points back to Christ and to Scripture
Times of suffering can seem an unwelcome friend and yet Barnett includes a helpful chapter on being called to tussle with suffering. As she writes: “a vocation to suffering is the universal experience of humanity, as we live in our fallen and broken world, but acknowledging that truth doesn’t make it any easier to live with”. Barnett openly explores seeking to make sense of her diagnosis and contemplating punishment and blame – questions many of us will have asked in dark times. She speaks with humility about what it meant to be a minister in a public facing role, and the need to allow others to share in her suffering, engaging with their questions as well as her own. She recognises the need to work through our suffering with God, not holding God at arms length and indeed her writing is firmly rooted in scripture, from Job and the Psalms, to the gospel accounts.
As a vicar, Barnett’s natural gift of teaching is apparent as she encourages the reader to face the darkness with hope, drawing out biblical themes of light and darkness. She reminds us there is nowhere God is not, even when we don’t encounter the Lord in the ways we might hope. For her, this meant enduring the long slog of chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
Perhaps the most personal and moving chapter is on being called to vulnerability. She describes the moments of having to shave her head, and looking at her new silhouette post mastectomy, clothed in just a thin hospital gown.
She writes of the need to let go of the way we usually define ourselves – career, family and lifestyle – as they give way to illness, hospital number and treatment forms. Yet within this, she finds a connection to Christ in his vulnerability at the cross, and the ability to see God within that. She asks whether the reader, too, can see themselves as reflecting God’s glory in their own weakness.
Continuing her journey, she explores themes of community and the need to allow others to be part of our journey, before moving onto the reality of reflecting on dying, whenever it may happen. Finally, she asks the reader to consider a new normal, reflecting that experiences of suffering and darkness will change us forever. Even when we return to our old lives, they will not be as they once were.
Called Through Cancer is a deeply personal, honest, and accessible account of Barnett’s illness, but it is also a helpful reflection for anyone finding themselves in a time of darkness. Barnett’s vicar’s heart is evident throughout, from the silent prayers she offers for those she finds herself alongside in waiting rooms, to her obvious desire for readers to connect more deeply with their faith through their own experiences.
It’s not an easy read by any means, but the study questions at the end may help readers reflect on all that is raised for them as they journey through it. Whether you have your own experience of illness or not, the book points back to Christ and to scripture, seeking to help us understand our own calling in the shadow of pain and darkness.
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