From drug dealing to freedom in Christ

I was brought up in Paisley, which was one of the most deprived areas in Scotland. My mum and dad were never involved in crime, but I had family members who took and sold drugs. I was used to seeing anti-social behaviour, burned-out cars and organised crime. 

I went to a Catholic school, and I remember my gran with her rosary beads, but other than going to Saturday night Mass with her occasionally, there was no spiritual influence at all. I enjoyed Mass, even though it wasn’t targeted towards children. I think I felt safe there, although I couldn’t have told you that at the time. 

When I was eleven, we moved to Ayrshire. It was a totally different environment. In Paisley, there was constant tension. Ayrshire was such a peaceful place. I felt safe there. But a short time later, I was sexually abused. I grew up thinking that the world wasn’t a safe place and never would be.

A drug-fuelled descent

The abuse obviously affected me. I struggled to concentrate in secondary school. I thought there was something wrong with me, but really, I was struggling with trauma. When I first started using cannabis, aged 14, I felt like the volume in my head, the strong thoughts and feelings that I was carrying, were turned down a bit. Within a week or two, I came to the conclusion that I just needed to keep doing drugs. But I didn’t have the funds, so I started selling drugs. 

I first went to prison aged 17. The following year, my son was born. By 19, I’d been attacked with a pickaxe, stabbed in the face and threatened with guns. I’d also started using heroin. 

When I was caught with more drugs, I knew I was going back to prison. While I was inside my daughter was born.

I was quite fed up by this point, and I decided to learn a trade. I knew I didn’t want to use certain drugs, but I wasn’t prepared to give up altogether. I did go to college, but I never finished. I started making really good money [from selling drugs] again and I just lost interest. I actually ended up more addicted. I started selling heroin, and I ended up going back to prison on three occasions as a result. 

Convicted of sin 

Aged 26, I was travelling from court to the prison when I had this bizarre experience. I started to think about the Ten Commandments. I didn’t know what they were; I just knew that I had broken them. I prayed in my head: “God, if you just get me out of here, I will change.” On the day of my trial, the prosecutor decided there was no case to answer. I was released and went back to doing everything that I’d done before. But God was doing a work in me, even if I didn’t know it. 

I was still using drugs, but slowly that started to lessen, and it was more prescription pills. I was drinking a bottle of vodka a day – that’s how I was self-medicating. It was just a hopeless existence. Those were the worst years of my life.

One morning, I had these strong thoughts about just blowing [my flat] up. I was genuinely concerned about my state of mind, so I phoned the police. But by the time they arrived, I wasn’t willing to cooperate. There ended up being a bomb disposal unit, the fire brigade, ambulances, armed response units. There was a police helicopter. Eventually, after four hours, I surrendered. I went to prison for threatening and abusive behavior. 

I knew right there and then that I was changed and transformed, never to be the same again

When I got out, I was so ashamed. I didn’t want to be addicted to alcohol. My anxiety was terrible. I felt vulnerable. I started going to the gym, doing karate and going to football – things I used to enjoy. One night in 2015, a taxi driver gave me a card for a group called The Freedom Fighters. There was a Bible verse on it: “You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free” [see John 8:32]. I realised somebody had given me that same card a year before. I knew I needed to contact them. This guy met me. He’d had similar life experiences. He told me the story of the prodigal son, gave me a Bible, prayed for me and invited me to church. 

Healed and set free 

The first time I went to church, I was 32 years old. I remember saying to somebody: “Wow! This is like X Factor!” There was a stage, lights - my only reference point was the Saturday night Mass I went to with my gran. 

A couple of months later, one Sunday morning, the speaker said: “Somebody here today is going to leave church, and their life is never going to be the same again,” I knew it was me. 

That night, I was so aware of my sin, I couldn’t sleep. I cried for hours. In my mind’s eye, I saw two hands being pierced and an empty tomb. The scripture that came to mind was: “This is my dearly beloved son in whom I’m well pleased” [see Matthew 3:17]. God was showing me that Jesus Christ, the saviour of the world, was crucified for me, and was alive again. I knew right there and then that I was changed and transformed, never to be the same again. By God’s grace, by 1 May 2015, I was free from alcohol [addiction]. I’ve been free from it ever since. 

I’m now married and have another son. I’m part of the leadership at my local church. I work with a Christian charity called Blythswood, where I’m the shoebox appeal and engagement coordinator. I get to travel all over the UK, standing in churches and telling people that on 26 April 2015, I came to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and I was free and forgiven. I’m able to encourage people that God is able to do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine [see Ephesians 3:20].  

Paul Algeo was speaking to Emma Fowle