Why the Church should shout louder about the beauty of weddings

Recently, my husband and I stood in a chapel in front of a local vicar and renewed our vows – ten years after committing to each other at our wedding. It was a different church, a different priest and, to some extent, we were different people. 

Ten years in anyone’s life will change them – and how they see the world. On our anniversary, we looked back on a decade that had included the death of Mark’s parents just a year into our marriage, work stress and challenges, new homes, new friends, old friends, money worries, two pregnancies and the birth of two boys, Brexit, a global pandemic, a few prime ministers and a world that feels increasingly destabilised. 

It is both a long and short period of time, but it felt like the right moment to step out of the grind and the juggle of parenting, work and life to choose each other again in the sight of God. That we could do so with a priest, in a church just a stone’s throw away from our home, is part of the beauty the Church is able to offer its communities. That we could do so for free, in a breathtaking building, rather than spend thousands of pounds on a(nother) lavish wedding, reminded me of why we need to shout more about the beauty of church weddings. 

New data has revealed that church weddings have reached their lowest level on record. Fewer people than ever are choosing to get married in traditional religious settings. Excluding the pandemic years, 2023 saw the lowest number of Church of England marriages since 1837. 

In some ways, this is to be expected. The decades-long decline in religious affiliation has naturally led to many not feeling the need to get married in church. On top of that, the astronomical price of weddings, coupled with the cost-of-living crisis and a challenging housing market, mean many are understandably choosing a roof over their heads in preference to a big, fat expensive wedding. 

New data has revealed that church weddings have reached their lowest level on record

As Christians, we need to dispel the widespread myths that it is only those who regularly attend Sunday services who can get married in churches – or that only those who have never been married before are welcome. 

Getting married in a church marks a couple’s union out as something that goes beyond the infatuation of young love; it requires something of us that we might not be able to manage ourselves. It understands that love is something profound, perhaps something transcendent, but that it is not all romance and flowers. Not all marriages will or should work out. Getting married in church is not some magic spell that means your marriage will last forever; and when things break down, the Church needs to do far better at wrapping its loving arms around people, too. 

But in an unsteady world, church weddings can act as a moment of steadying, as couples stand before their community, a minister and God and commit to each other for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.