Christ gave this mother the strength to forgive her daughter’s killer

America and the world recently witnessed the power of the Gospel on full display when Erika Kirk, the widow of conservative and Christian commentator Charlie Kirk, stood on stage at her husband’s memorial and openly forgave the man who murdered him in cold blood.

It was a stunning and emotional moment that sparked a passion in many to better ponder how they, too, can offer forgiveness to those who have trespassed against them.

We don’t often see such public moments of absolution. But there was another stunning act of forgiveness that preceded Kirk’s — one that hasn’t been given as much attention.

Over the summer, Cara Kernodle, whose daughter, Xana, was murdered in November 2022, in the now-infamous University of Idaho slayings, took the courageous step of openly forgiving the killer.

Xana was one of four students brutally killed inside their home in a bloodied scene that horrified crime experts and the public alike. The case sparked widespread media attention and intrigue, adding pressure to Kernodle and other grieving family members.

A mother’s pain turned prison conversion

As it turns out, Kernodle was struggling with addiction and chaos at the time of her daughter’s death, something that culminated in her own imprisonment. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to speak with her about surrendering her life to Jesus while confined to a cell — a decision that transformed her life.

“It’s been 18 months now, I’ve been completely sober,” she told me over the summer. “I am completely free of every bondage through Christ. There’s just no other answer for that except for Jesus.”

Meanwhile, profound grace transformed Kernodle’s understanding of what she’s also required to do. Speaking with me before the admitted killer was sentenced, she said she knew, no matter how hard it would be, that she needed to forgive the assailant for taking her daughter’s life.

“The Lord asks us to forgive, and he does that so that we don’t have to hold onto that bitterness, and that anger, and that hate,” she said. “Because it will destroy you, and it truly was destroying me.”

Kernodle remarkably understood the weight of her own sin and the forgiveness Jesus offered. In turn, she recognised she was called to do the same for the killer. While she naturally refused to excuse the killer’s actions, she likewise committed to releasing any hatred.

“That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” Kernodle told me. “And I promise you, it was nothing in me. It was all Jesus. I knew I had to surrender that — I knew I had to in order to begin healing and to be forgiven of my sins.”

Not long after she told me this, the world had the chance to see Kernodle speak in court at Kohberger’s hearing. Rather than cower or avoid standing up, she boldly and directly addressed him.

Surrendering bitterness

“It is Christ who lives in me that has given me the strength to forgive you,” she told him. “It was of no power of my own.”

Kernodle wasn’t done there, though, as she showed an astounding level of compassion for Kohberger himself, expressing deep concern for his salvation.

“I do pray for you,” Kernodle added. “I pray that, before this life is over, that you ask our Lord and Saviour in your heart and to forgive you.”

Kernodle understood the weight of her own sin and the forgiveness Jesus offered. In turn, she recognised she was called to do the same for the killer

Considering the pain this mother has experienced — the immeasurable loss and suffering — the notion she would care so diligently for his salvation is a testament to the true power of the Gospel. From a woman who hit rock bottom and struggled before finding Christ came a spring of love and forgiveness that was only possible through the Holy Spirit.

This is the way forward; it’s the path that can heal our hearts and minds. Kernodle and Kirk are just two examples of what it means to truly live out biblical truth. We can speak all day about our faith, but it’s acts like these that show what it means in practice.

Furthermore, forgiveness is a command. Jesus uttered one of the most convicting messages on this very topic in Matthew 6:14-15. He said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Kernodle and Kirk offer us a blueprint forward in a confused and confounded world — one that can offer individual and corporate healing. Their courage, love and compassion should inspire us to ponder where we need to offer absolution to others in our own lives.