The normalisation of abortion is not good news for women

Here’s the tale of three women I love. I have changed their names to protect their identities.  

But I write this as a wake-up call. After last week’s vote in parliament, we are sleep-walking towards a land where abortion is normalised in the name of women’s rights. I write because a lot of pain and a lot of voices are being silenced by this fairy tale.  

First, let me introduce you to Helen. Helen got in touch with me out of the blue after seeing me at a distance at a cathedral service. She wanted to share a traumatic story with me. It took several goes, over a number of months for her to pluck up the courage to tell me her story. It turned out she’d had an abortion at home by ‘pills-by-post’. She was still suffering from the trauma. She’d been given the right to choose alone, unsupported by friends, unbeknown to family, just at the end of the telephone. The pills had literally arrived in the post. I had no idea this was an option, but she told me it had been introduced during Covid. I later learned that this temporary measure had became permanent, despite a Government consultation finding widespread opposition and concerns for women’s safety. The only safeguard is women should be less than 10 weeks pregnant - but there’s no scan to check this. No in-person appointment to assess if she is being coerced or abused. Losing a pregnancy, for whatever reason, is traumatising. At late term even more so. And that’s before the considerable physical risks are considered. 

Tracey is a friend from one of the parishes we have served in. Our lives and stories couldn’t be more different. She’s had ups and a lot of downs. Like many women in that deprived neighbourhood, her ego was so crushed by life that “comfort sex” was normalised. A neighbour, a friend, late at night, after a few drinks. No strings attached. Tracey found herself pregnant. She took the very difficult decision to have an abortion and was supported by friends and family. I never hid from her my views about sex being for marriage (“Wow – you mean I’m worth it?”) or about abortion. But she navigated a very difficult time knowing that she was loved and cared for. To that end, I am a great advocate for the Pregnancy Centres Network and CARE who provide safe and compassionate spaces for women to share crisis pregnancy and post abortion concerns in person. There’s a lot of grace. 

There’s a lot of fairytales around the normalisation of abortion, but they don’t seem to leading us towards a ‘happily ever after’ for women like Helen or Tracey

Finally I’d love you to meet Sarah. Sarah has Down’s syndrome. I used to babysit her and her younger brother when I was in my twenties. Her mum, Sandra, is a very good friend to this day. Sarah has spiritual antennae in a way I have rarely seen before. When Sarah was little, they used to live close to an abortion clinic in London. Sarah would sometimes wake up at night to tell her mum she couldn’t sleep because she could hear the babies crying. 

I believe we are known and loved by God from the moment of our conception (Psalm 139:13-16). Something very miraculous happens inside a woman as she becomes a mum. Societies through time have had many different ways of handing this transition from woman to mum, especially when this is unwanted. A good friend of mine dressed me down recently - “it’s just a bag of cells with the potential for life – it’s not a baby.” We had to agree to disagree. Fetus baby, toddler, child and onwards are all stages of human development. It’s not our size that makes us matter. In fact, fetus is simply Latin for baby. Intriguing that we reach for obscure language. Even the Romans used the same word inside and outside the womb. 

There’s a lot of fairytales around the normalisation of abortion, but I don’t think it’s a fairytale to hope for something better for Helen or Tracey. I don’t think it’s a fairytale to hope for legislation and action that enable a mature society where mothers and their babies can flourish, where pain is not swept under the carpet, and voices are not silenced. Especially those of the weak and the vulnerable, who are wonderfully made in the image of God.