God doesn’t expect us to forgive people who haven’t repented

Letting go of bitterness is not the same as forgiving someone, says Dr David Instone-Brewer

When Jesus was hanging on the cross, he did something amazing: he asked his Father to forgive his executioners. But this didn’t mean that they were now forgiven by God; it meant they would be forgiven if they repented. 

Forgiveness is a response to repentance – like an answer is a response to a question, or thanks is a response to a gift. When a homeless person holds out his hand and says: “Thank you,” they are pre-emptively responding to something you haven’t yet done. It’s only when they receive something from you that their thanks make sense. And Jesus’ forgiveness of his crucifiers was pre-emptive. He didn’t say: “You are forgiven”, or even: “I forgive you.” He asked his Father to forgive them, knowing this couldn’t happen until they repented.