All articles by Margaret Ellis

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    He wants sex more than I do

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    How do you overcome vast differences in sexual appetite? My husband seems to want sex all the time and I just can’t keep up. I do enjoy it when I feel in the mood, but we are doing it so often that I now regularly just do the proverbial ‘lie back and think of England’!

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    Sex and singles

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I am now in my 30s and a virgin. Even though I believe that being a virgin has been the right thing, I dread the day one of my secular friends or acquaintances brings up the sex topic in relation to me. How can I deal with this?

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    Can I use sex toys?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Agony Aunt Maggie Ellis answers readers' questions on sex and relationships...

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    I was raped as a teenager

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    At the age of 16 I was suffering with depression. Things got so bad I tried to OD on my anti depressants but I was suddenly filled with fear so I went to my church youth worker, I passed out just after I arrived. The next thing I remember is waking up with him touching me. He told me that if I ever told anyone what he had done then he would tell my family about my OD. He then raped me. I tried to avoid him from then on but he managed to find ways to get me on my own and he did it again a number of times...

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    More Sex Questions

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Maggie Ellis tackles three different sexual issues, including lust and female orgasms...

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    Can we use porn?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "To help us kick-start our libidos, we took to looking at soft porn together before making love. Is this wrong?"

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    Pain turns me on

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Agony Aunt Maggie Ellis answers readers' questions on sex and relationships...

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    Rediscover passion for your overweight wife

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Sometimes when making love it seems to be going OK until I am about to reach orgasm but then I just ‘lose it’ – i.e. there is no ‘feeling’ - it just comes to an end. My wife says she had felt me ‘come’ inside her but I didn’t feel it. This is happening more and more lately over the last few years. I am 54 and we have been together for almost 30 years...

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    Should I see a non-Christian therapist?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I experience acute pain upon any type of vaginal entry. My doctor has failed repeatedly to do a cervical smear test...

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    Why wait until we are married

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    We are engaged and getting married in nine months time. Both of us are Christians and know we are the right ones for each other. We have been praying and asking God if we should wait until we get married before we have sex, but are beginning to feel that since we are getting married soon anyway it should be OK...

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    Married but still a virgin

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My husband and I were virgins on our wedding night. As Christians we knew this was what God wanted and felt it would be best for us too. Not that we found it easy to keep our hands off each other before the big day. Trouble is - six months later we are still virgins! On our honeymoon we had lots of fun in bed but when it came to intercourse I felt too small...

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    Sex makes me sore

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I was sexually abused by my dad when I was a child. I am now 42. I have had three children; one was a premature delivery and he lived for seven weeks in hospital and then died. I had sexual feelings but did not have sex until I became married. On my wedding night I found having sex uncomfortable and it has been ever since...

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    She won't initiate sex

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My wife never, or rarely, initiates sexual contact, or any physical intimacy. We never have sex spontaneously – it is always discussed and planned first, teeth cleaned, undressed, into bed and then I know I need to initiate all the ‘proceedings’. Every six months or so, we discuss our sex life and my wife promises that she will try to initiate sex more often. But after such discussions we may have 3 or 4 days before my wife remembers that she is ‘supposed to be initiating’...

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    My husband has withdrawn

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "He never hugs me or says anything to show how he feels. I do not know if there is any feeling of love left for me..."

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    How do we minister to transgender people?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Maggie Ellis answers a question on acceptance in the Church.

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    How often should we be having sex?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "My husband says we don’t have sex as often as other people..."

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    My husband hits me

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My husband gets very stressed and sometimes loses it with me, though he usually says sorry the next day. He doesn’t mean to hurt me, it’s just that I say the wrong things. I aggravate him and often don’t get it right, however hard I try. He has bruised me several times before and a few times I have lost my balance on the stairs when he is shoving me, but it is only because I lose my footing because I am upset. Last week he said my spending was out of control. He was furious that I had bought a new outfit for a family wedding...

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    Help - my wife's gone off sex

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My wife and I have been married for 26 years – but for the past 12 months we have not made love. Although we row sometimes like any couple, we still get on quite well and have four super kids aged 22, 19, and twins aged 15, but the spark in our relationship has long gone. I’ve tried being romantic – candlit dinners, flowers and boxes of chocolates – but my wife just isn’t interested in physical intimacy...

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    I think I'm gay

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I am waiting for my divorce to come through from my wife of 28 years. All through my marriage, really I have known that I am attracted to men more than women. I first felt attracted to boys my own age when I was 13 years old. I’ve never had a same sex relationship and I believe that the Bible is against homo or bi-sexuality. However, after 24 years I am giving up as I can no longer cope with making love to a woman and my wife understandably can’t cope with this...

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    Lusty mind games

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Well straight in the deep end - lust. Where do you draw the line between ‘attraction’ and lust, the unhelpful sort? I was involved with pornographic magazines many years ago, before becoming a Christian and getting married...