All articles by Margaret Ellis
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Sex abuse flashbacks
I find this hard to write about, but my father ‘showed me how to have sex’ when I was primary school age. I hated it when he did this, but he persuaded me it was what all girls had to learn. It is only now as an adult that I realise this is what our society calls childhood sexual abuse...
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Archive contentMaggie Ellis answers a question on childhood abuse.
Maggie Ellis answers a question on childhood abuse.
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My husband was abused
Since we married a few years ago, my husband and my sex life has not developed. I think the main issue is my husband’s childhood – though I feel bad for saying this because it is like I am pointing the finger. He was sent to a boarding school where he was abused...
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Addicted to pain and power
From an early age I have had a keen interest in corporal punishment (spanking and caning) and during my single years bought magazines and videos on the subject and visited ladies to act out my fantasies...
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My husband is addicted to porn
I discovered a few months ago that my husband has been looking at porn on the Internet for a long time, as well as going onto sites where he meets up with people who he then would exchange sexual texts with. It seems he has been addicted to this for years...
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My sister is having an affair
My sister, who is married and a professing Christian, is having an affair with a married man. She hasn’t had any intimacy with her own husband for the past decade due to his longstanding illness. I might have the courage to tell my sister’s husband about the affair if it wasn’t for our parents. They are likely to react very angrily and cut my sister out of the will. My sister keeps excusing what she is doing due to grace! She says I can’t tell her anything that she doesn’t already know or hasn’t thought of. I feel very bad knowing what I know but don’t feel I should spill the beans...
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I am struggling with celibacy
"I can understand that this isn’t God’s design, but I’m finding it hard to control my sexual desires..."
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Archive contentI am guilty over lost virginity
I had lots of great friends at uni - but many were into binge drinking and sleeping around. Somehow - I managed to get through over two years without getting drunk, I had a steady Christian boyfriend and we both believed that sex was something for marriage. But then we broke up and I had sex with a guy that I had only met a fortnight earlier...
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Angry over high sex drive
I am beginning to find my behaviour during the regular periods of sexual abstinence in my otherwise happy 20 year marriage alarming and wonder if I am some kind of sex addict, or just a pratt who needs to grow up? I have a greater sex drive than my wife. She makes as much effort as she can, but we can go for long periods without sex. She has phases of not liking herself and feeling unsexy – sometimes this can last for weeks. Despite knowing that she still loves me I always feel rejected...
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I don’t want to stop being an Ann Summers rep
"I am an Ann Summers rep and my husband is currently training for leadership in the church..."
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I'm seeing another man
I have a wonderful husband whom I love very much and teenage kids. This past year has thrown considerable pressures at us which we have handled and found our way through. However, I have very slowly been getting closer in friendship to another man at church. We Facebook each other almost daily, he makes me laugh and gives me a place where I can offload...
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We’re drifting apart
"We’ve been married for 12 years and I feel as if we’re drifting apart. The worst thing is that I don’t think my husband has really noticed..."
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Archive contentSo ashamed of using porn
I’m a single 26-year-old guy and find porn a constant temptation, particularly since I got Internet access at my flat. There are loads of images of naked and semi-naked women all around – papers, lads’ mags, ads on TV, DVDs, its hard to escape it. Every time I use porn to masturbate I feel guilty...
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Can I masturbate while he is away?
My husband and I have an amazing sex life. He works away for months at a time, and so of course we cannot see each other during this time. We’ve talked and feel that it is ok for us to masturbate so long as it has no adverse affects on ...
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Just had a baby, struggling with sex
Maggie Ellis answers a question on sex after childbirth.
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My daughter is bisexual
My husband and I are committed Christians in a thriving Church who would appreciate your advice concerning our 19-year-old daughter. Lucy (not her real name) told us about a year ago that she was bisexual and was in a relationship with another girl, Jemma...
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My Boyfriend Won't Marry Me
I’m 30 and for the past three-and-a-half years have been going out with a man who has come to be the love of my life. Although we fancy each other we have chosen not to go too far physically. The problem is that although he says he loves me, whenever we talk about the future and the possibility of getting married he gets cold feet...
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I can’t cope with my wife’s menopause
"It’s like living with a dangerous dog that bites and barks..."
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I can't ejaculate
Agony Aunt Maggie Ellis answers readers' questions on sex and relationships...
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Does masturbation discount me from church?
Maggie Ellis on whether masturbation is OK for Christians.
