All articles by Margaret Ellis – Page 3

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    Can I masturbate while he is away?

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My husband and I have an amazing sex life. He works away for months at a time, and so of course we cannot see each other during this time. We’ve talked and feel that it is ok for us to masturbate so long as it has no adverse affects on ...

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    So ashamed of using porn

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I’m a single 26-year-old guy and find porn a constant temptation, particularly since I got Internet access at my flat. There are loads of images of naked and semi-naked women all around – papers, lads’ mags, ads on TV, DVDs, its hard to escape it. Every time I use porn to masturbate I feel guilty...

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    We’re drifting apart

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "We’ve been married for 12 years and I feel as if we’re drifting apart. The worst thing is that I don’t think my husband has really noticed..."

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    I'm seeing another man

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I have a wonderful husband whom I love very much and teenage kids. This past year has thrown considerable pressures at us which we have handled and found our way through. However, I have very slowly been getting closer in friendship to another man at church. We Facebook each other almost daily, he makes me laugh and gives me a place where I can offload...

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    I don’t want to stop being an Ann Summers rep

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "I am an Ann Summers rep and my husband is currently training for leadership in the church..."

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    Angry over high sex drive

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I am beginning to find my behaviour during the regular periods of sexual abstinence in my otherwise happy 20 year marriage alarming and wonder if I am some kind of sex addict, or just a pratt who needs to grow up? I have a greater sex drive than my wife. She makes as much effort as she can, but we can go for long periods without sex. She has phases of not liking herself and feeling unsexy – sometimes this can last for weeks. Despite knowing that she still loves me I always feel rejected...

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    I am struggling with celibacy

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    "I can understand that this isn’t God’s design, but I’m finding it hard to control my sexual desires..."

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    I am guilty over lost virginity

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I had lots of great friends at uni - but many were into binge drinking and sleeping around. Somehow - I managed to get through over two years without getting drunk, I had a steady Christian boyfriend and we both believed that sex was something for marriage. But then we broke up and I had sex with a guy that I had only met a fortnight earlier...

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    My sister is having an affair

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    My sister, who is married and a professing Christian, is having an affair with a married man. She hasn’t had any intimacy with her own husband for the past decade due to his longstanding illness. I might have the courage to tell my sister’s husband about the affair if it wasn’t for our parents. They are likely to react very angrily and cut my sister out of the will. My sister keeps excusing what she is doing due to grace! She says I can’t tell her anything that she doesn’t already know or hasn’t thought of. I feel very bad knowing what I know but don’t feel I should spill the beans...

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    Addicted to pain and power

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    From an early age I have had a keen interest in corporal punishment (spanking and caning) and during my single years bought magazines and videos on the subject and visited ladies to act out my fantasies...

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    My husband is addicted to porn

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I discovered a few months ago that my husband has been looking at porn on the Internet for a long time, as well as going onto sites where he meets up with people who he then would exchange sexual texts with. It seems he has been addicted to this for years...

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    My husband was abused

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Since we married a few years ago, my husband and my sex life has not developed. I think the main issue is my husband’s childhood – though I feel bad for saying this because it is like I am pointing the finger. He was sent to a boarding school where he was abused...

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    Sex abuse flashbacks

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    I find this hard to write about, but my father ‘showed me how to have sex’ when I was primary school age. I hated it when he did this, but he persuaded me it was what all girls had to learn. It is only now as an adult that I realise this is what our society calls childhood sexual abuse...

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    Maggie Ellis answers a question on childhood abuse.

    2014-02-05T00:00:00Z

    Maggie Ellis answers a question on childhood abuse.

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    Flirting at work: where do I draw the line?

    2013-02-15T00:00:00Z

    I am a new Christian and am picking up that Christians frown upon flirting at work. Why do they think this is so bad and unholy? Isn't it just a natural part of life and having fun to cheer up a dreary day?

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    I want more than sex

    2012-11-14T00:00:00Z

    My husband and I have been married for 40 years. We have great sex but nothing else that we enjoy together outside our family life. I feel very sad. Am I being greedy?

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    My wife is too tired for sex

    2012-11-14T00:00:00Z

    I’m scared. I’ve been married for seven years and thought I had a fairly good marriage until around the time of the birth of my second daughter. Now I am wondering whether our marriage will survive. My wife is too exhausted to do anything in the evenings; all her affection is focused on our children. She has no desire to let other people look after our kids so we can spend time alone and she is too tired for sex. I’ve realised she has never given me the affection I have been after and our relationship seems to have been based on our first child since she was born. I have worked hard at our relationship and prayed for it over the years. I don’t know what else I can do and I’m beginning to think that we might as well divorce. We have talked about some of the issues and it’s good to know my wife has an understanding of how I feel, but no improvements have occurred and my hope has vanished.

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    From mother to lover

    2012-11-14T00:00:00Z

    "Do you have any tips/ideas for helping to change mode from mother/domestic worker (with attendant stresses and responsibilities weighing heavily) to relaxed, sexy lover – free to enjoy the pleasure? Also, are we supposed to be having sex three times a week like my husband says?!"

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    The Sex Factor: Two

    2012-11-14T00:00:00Z

    Maggie Ellis answers your questions on sex and relationships...

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    Our bodies are getting old

    2012-11-14T00:00:00Z

    Our Agony Aunt answers readers' questions on sex and relationships.