I became a Christian six months ago and am really struggling with the idea of not having sex before marriage. I used to be quite promiscuous – I have been single for a while and so had plenty of casual relationships to fill the gap. I can understand that this isn’t God’s design, but I’m finding it hard to control my sexual desires, and also I’m missing the closeness of a sexual partner.
It is really hard to limit our libido when it has been pretty active. Song of Songs (2:7) charges the daughters of Jerusalem: ‘Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.’ It is true that sexual love can be in an aroused or hibernating state. Tension comes when our sexual state is mismatched to our relational circumstances! Some have dug into hibernation while sleeping next to a saddened husband or wife while others, like yourself, find they need to simmer down due to their current situation.