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Grief doesn’t wait for a convenient moment. It arrives in the middle of a school day, in a classroom where a child is expected to focus, to learn, to keep up. For many children, the weight of loss quietly dismantles everything around them - friendships, confidence, the ability to simply be present.
The question for the church is: what does it look like to show up for those children?
When a family needed more than they could carry
When Emma’s husband Kev - a military man, full of life - suddenly became blind, suffered a stroke, lost his speech and was left paralysed, life for the whole family changed overnight.
“Life involved a lot of heartache because my husband had been very ill for a long time,” Emma reflects. “Bringing two children up while trying to care for someone so ill was tough. The children needed help which I just wasn’t able to give.”
For Sophie (11) and Ellis (10), the impact was felt most acutely at school. Both children received a trauma diagnosis. They struggled to concentrate, fell behind academically, and found friendships increasingly difficult. “Their brains weren’t in a space to be able to learn,” says Emma. And then, not long after the family began receiving support, sadly passed away.
“I felt angry at school,” says Sophie quietly. “I really struggled with my friendships and my confidence.” Ellis, meanwhile, found his emotions hard to manage - and was regularly getting into trouble.
Someone who shows up
It was through their school that Emma first heard about TLG. “When the kids’ school said that TLG could help us, it felt like it was the answer to what we desperately needed. TLG became an extension of me.”
Through TLG’s Early Intervention programme, volunteers from local churches are trained to offer one-to-one coaching in schools — one hour a week, for a whole year. For Sophie and Ellis, that meant meeting coaches Helen and Gerry. And something began to shift.
“The days that Gerry came made school feel much happier,” says Ellis. “It really helped my behaviour because I had something to look forward to.”
For Sophie, coaching created a space to do something she hadn’t been able to do anywhere else - talk about her dad.
“One of my treasures is the last present I got from him,” she says. “He took me to Build-a-Bear and I chose a teddy. He recorded himself saying ‘I love you Sophie’ so I can press the bear’s paw and hear him again. I took my bear in to show Helen. We talked about my dad in my coaching sessions - which was really helpful.”
“Before TLG, I didn’t really have many friends,” Sophie continues. “I’d just be by myself and think about things. Helen was someone who was always there for me. She was like a best friend.”
Ellis echoes it differently. “I used to feel all alone. I would crawl up in a little ball under my bed and just hide. It was a huge relief when Gerry came along. Things weren’t so hard for me anymore. I don’t get so angry now - and Gerry’s helped me to see that I can be myself.”
“The kids changed,” says Emma simply. “They calmed down.”
Soaring on wings like eagles
Through the hardship her family has walked through, Emma has held onto a verse from Isaiah 40:31:
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
It is a verse that speaks to what TLG believes about the church’s role in the lives of children that are struggling. Not to fix everything. Not to replace what has been lost. But to be present. To be consistent. To be the person a child looks forward to seeing.
With 1 in 5 children now living with a probable mental health condition, and grief touching families in every community, the need has never been greater. For over 26 years, TLG has seen children move from anxiety to peace, from despair to confidence, from hopelessness to hope - because someone from a local church showed up for them, week after week.
Through TLG’s Early Intervention programme, churches across the UK are already delivering over 20,000 coaching sessions every year. And for children like Sophie and Ellis, that one hour a week can be the difference between falling further behind and beginning to flourish.
Helen puts it simply: Sophie is thriving now. And that’s how Sophie feels too.
Could your church stand in the gap?
To discover more about TLG and our Charity of the Year partnership with Premier Christian Radio, please visit https://bit.ly/4eMaKyW.
