What did Jesus mean by 'turn the other cheek'?

Jesus said: “Do not resist an evil person” (Matthew 5:39). Does this mean we shouldn’t resist an invading army? He continued: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” So, if someone injures your daughter, are you supposed to offer your other daughter for similar treatment? Or should we ignore these commands as unachievable, or rhetorical exaggerations? 

I want to show that these commands are not only practical, but that we’ll actually want to obey them once we properly understand them. 

One classic explanation for this teaching is Jesus meant only that you should offer to extend your own suffering or loss – but you can’t invite persecutors to harm someone else. You should try to prevent them from harming others and defend those under attack, but you shouldn’t defend yourself – unless, of course, your life is in danger. 

This interpretation seems sensible, but does the text indicate that it is really what Jesus meant? After all, he simply said: “Do not resist”. He didn’t add caveats…or did he?

Forced limitations

Jesus spoke of a persecutor who “slaps you on the right cheek”, “wants to sue you”, “wants to…take your shirt”, “forces you to go one mile” and “wants to borrow from you” – presumably without intending to repay their debt (vv39-42). None of these examples involve harming others. This might, of course, be coincidental, but it’s difficult to think of different types of examples that don’t include harm to others. For instance, allowing someone to take your furniture, make you work for them without wages, or fire you from your job would all adversely affect your family or dependants as well as yourself. 

Jesus’ examples are also all limited. Allowing your other cheek to be slapped isn’t the same as being dangerously beaten up; being sued isn’t being framed for a serious crime; offering your coat isn’t giving away your home; lending your cash isn’t giving away all your property. And “go with them two miles” is very clearly not “go as far as they want you to go”. 

These limitations help to make the commands practical. But they are nonetheless difficult to accept. However, let me propose a reason for them – which may make you want to obey them. 

Keep it in the family

To do this, I’ll employ a thought experiment. First, imagine your persecutor is your son or daughter who has grown to hate you for some reason. Perhaps they resent you for making them attend church as children, not liking their friends or not giving them money they’ve asked you for. Now imagine that they slap you, sue you for neglectful parenting or take financial advantage of you. 

You are likely to feel angry with them at first, but you probably won’t hit back. Like most parents in these situations, rather than retaliating, you let go of the hurt and try to accommodate them. Of course, in some circumstances – such as drug addiction – you may have to show tough love, but let’s put that aside in this case. Why are you so forgiving and generous? Because they are your family and you love them! And you hope they’ll realise this one day and change. 

That’s exactly how Jesus asks us to react to those who persecute us. It’s because he sees something that we know in theory but don’t often acknowledge: our persecutor is also a member of our family – a sibling – because they, like us, are a child of God. 

Everyone is a child of God until judgement day

Everyone is a child of God until judgement day. At that point, the psalmist says that God’s love for the unrepentant sinner will turn to hatred (Psalm 5:5; 11:5). These surprising verses are found in the context of God’s final judgement (see Psalm 5:10; 11:4,6). But until that day, God loves the good and bad equally. Of course, the only good human was Jesus, but some are admittedly worse than others – and yet God loves us all. In proof of this, Jesus explained that God gives his good gifts of rain and sunshine to everyone, good and bad (Matthew 5:45). 

Eternity and beyond

We know this is true in theory, but Jesus knew it in practice; he had experienced eternity and seen his Father’s love for everyone. This was so real for him that even though he was unimaginably greater and better than anyone, and even after he’d risen from death, he still called fellow humans his ‘brothers’ (Matthew 28:10; John 20:17). And if it’s true for Jesus, how much more so is it true for us who all share the designation of ‘sinners’ – whether we are forgiven or haven’t yet repented. 

Here’s the second part of the thought experiment. Imagine you are in heaven, and you meet the homeless person you used to try to help. One day, when he was ill, he spat at you and after that, you deliberately avoided him. Now, in heaven, he walks up to you, gives you a wonderful brotherly hug and says: “Thank you so much for all the love you showed me. I understand why you stopped helping me, and I’m really sorry I spat at you. All I want to remember now is the love that you showered on me.”

Jesus said: “love your enemies…that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45). We aren’t asked to help only those who repent. We don’t know who our brothers and sisters in eternity will be, but his teaching shows that it doesn’t matter, because that’s who they are right now. And this means that within the limits Jesus gave, when people are unkind to us, take advantage of us, cheat us, steal from us or hit us, we put up with it – because they are family. Well, that’s the theory! And, in the meantime? We can pray for them that they’ll become God’s children for eternity.