The Bible doesn’t gloss over grief, and neither should we

When Amanda Held Opelt suffered a season of loss - including three miscarriages and the death of her sister, Rachel Held Evans - she was confronted with sorrow she didn’t know to how face. Why do so many Christians insist on an immediate, redemptive story arc when they experience suffering? 

Nearly five years ago, I entered a season of profound loss. It began with the death of my grandmother, followed by three heartbreaking miscarriages. And then, my only sibling died unexpectedly. She had always been my “true north,” so her death left me completely disoriented. It displaced all my landmarks and removed any feeling of security or certainty I’d ever had.

It was in the aftermath of these losses that I noticed something strange. While the people who surrounded me in my grief were kind and empathetic, the words many of them offered were laced with sentimental optimism and saccharine reassurance. They spoke of hope, of my loved ones being in a better place. They spoke of the wonderful spiritual lessons I would learn as a result of this trial, asserting that everything happens for a reason.