Rubiales, consent and what the Church needs to learn about touch

Luis Rubiales, president of Spain’s football federation, has resigned, three weeks after kissing Jenni Hermoso on the lips following Spain’s world cup win without her consent. Abi Thomas reflects on her own experiences, and what we can do in the Church to make sure that our physical contact is helpful, honouring to God and one another

The first time I was sexually assaulted, I was 14. On a family holiday in Italy, a man on a crowded ferry began rubbing himself against me. As I tried to get away, he followed. It was only recently that I discovered this is not an unusual practice, and even has a name, “frotteurism”. But at the time I told nobody. I barely understood what had happened myself; I just knew I felt deeply uncomfortable about it.

I’m now 41, but it’s still not unusual for me to receive unwanted sexual advances, comments or even touch. The difference now is that I know it is wrong, and I’m prepared to answer back. On one occasion while riding my bike wearing shorts, a teenager on a school trip made lewd comments from the pavement. When I had processed what he said, I cycled back and explained to the (now silent) student how his words had made me feel. Flustered, his teacher - who had clearly not been planning to address the issue - muttered that he would “take it up back at school”.