Deuce, Call it Love

Chances are you’ve forgotten about this mid-90s pop band, but here’s a salutary reminder of the difficulties of introducing a new generation to tennis. Any sport with a scoring system that refers to zero as “love” and 40-all as “deuce” needs to take a long hard look at itself.

The City Harmonic, City on a Hill

I've been among the crowds on Henman Hill watching the big screen. It's an experience unlike any other. I hadn’t watched more embarrassing British performances, cramped alongside others with an overpriced beverage, since I went to see Spiceworld.

The Beatles, Strawberry Fields Forever

Contrary to popular belief, strawberries and cream at Wimbledon is not that expensive – only £2.50 per portion, and for that money you get strawberries, cream, rain, and the crushing of British sporting hope. Bargain!

Natalie Imbruglia, Big Mistake

There will be many players shuffling away from SW19 with a forlorn expression, having just been beaten in straight sets. They will replay the match in their head, remembering all the moments where they made the wrong choice. They will be able to comfort themselves, however, with the knowledge that they won’t have made a mistake as big as the controversial BBC revamp of the highlights show.

Third Day, My Hope is You

Once again this year, we will cheer on the racquet-wielding Brits with aplomb, and hold out hopes for Andy Murray. I mean, we really are suckers to do this every time. Come on – it’s been two whole years since a British champion! How long must we wait?!

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